10 Things You Need To Master Before You Get Back With An Ex
Many couples break up and then decide to get back with an ex. Unfortunately, a lot of them don’t consider the fact that the problems within the relationship are still there. So a few months or years down the road they split up again. What a waste! If only they had taken time to consider the consequences of not fixing the issues before getting back an ex.
Before you get back with an ex, make sure of these things:
Issues from the past have been resolved. The ground on this one might be a little shaky as each person might consider ‘resolved’ in a different light. You can consider this mastered as long as both of you are open and willing to resolve all past and future issues together. Have you learned something from the break up? If you aren’t sure of this one, you may need to look deeper into yourself and the relationship than you have until now. Or it may be that you can write down several things you’ve learned. Use what you have learned to avoid break ups in the future. Do you know you can make life work without them? Just because you can live without someone doesn’t mean you should or even that you have to. Just knowing that you can stand on your own two feet will be progress. If there is a break up in the future you will know you will be ok. A future with them in it looks promising. Does the future you see with them now look vastly different than what you had in the past? It should. Don’t let it scare you, but both you and your partner will grow and change. That’s normal and healthy as long as you grow together. You are both willing to compromise. Things can’t and won’t always be your way in any relationship. Sometimes you will have to give in or sacrifice for your partner. And they must be prepared to do the same for you. Your goals and core beliefs are compatible. An exact match isn’t necessary, but your basic goals and beliefs have to be in tune with your partner’s or a relationship will not work long term. You are both willing to let the past stay in the past. Dredging up old hurts and conflicts serves no good purpose. Holding a grudge for something that is over and done with is silly. Your partner can’t take it back now, so let it go. You are absolutely sure your ex is coming back because they love you for who you are. If they are getting back together because they think they can change who you are or control you, that’s not love. Your partner should be as willing to give to the relationship as you are. You love your ex for who they are. This is the other side of the coin. If you don’t absolutely love who your partner is, this is not going to work. You won’t change them and will get frustrated when you try. Continue to love yourself. You should always continue to grow as a person. Improving and bettering yourself should be a priority. Just because you are with someone doesn’t mean you lose your identity.
I don’t suggest getting back with your ex if you don’t feel you can do these things. Life throws so many darts at us that if we don’t work together the relationship will fall apart. You have to stay focused on the goal of protecting and nurturing the relationship with each other, while still maintaining your own identity. Then no matter what comes up in the future, you can be confident that you will get through it. ]
copyright by Gene Elias
